Zander's Song
by bauer05
Summary: "Slender fingers curled around the sharp silver blade. Hands shook and trembled in the dim light and a sharp clatter could be heard as the blade tumbled blindly to the floor" Zander-centered. Oneshot. Requested fic. Song fic. TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions self-harm and suicide.


**Hey guys, it's Bauer05 here,**

**I present to you the first of my Disney/Nickelodeon oneshots which will focus on some of the male characters and their unseen past!**

**A shout out to _HTRobsessed_ who requested this to be Zander-centered :) Also the song used in this fic is _'Adam's Song' by Blink 182_, it's a truly beautiful song and I'd be lying if I said that I don't relate to it a lot!**

**I currently have two other fics in line at the moment (Tyler from 'Dog with a Blog' and Oliver from 'Mighty Med'), so if anyone has any prompts for those two stories (I will give a shout out and whatnot for the prompt) or if you have another character from a TV show or movie then don't hesitate to PM me or comment on this story.**

**Just a friendly reminder that constructive criticism is always welcome and don't forget to comment, follow and favourite!**

**ENJOY! :)**

_I never thought I'd die alone_

_I laughed the loudest who'd have known?_

_I traced the cord back to the wall_

_No wonder it was never plugged in at all_

_I took my time, I hurried up_

_The choice was mine I didn't think enough_

_I'm too depressed to go on_

_You'll be sorry when I'm gone_

Slender fingers curled around the sharp silver blade. Hands shook and trembled in the dim light and a sharp clatter could be heard as the blade tumbled blindly to the floor. It was dark and cold. The dim light of the bathroom flickered occasionally and illuminated the hooded silhouette with the shaking shoulders crouched in the corner. The boy's stifled sobs could be heard and the tears that fell from his eyes glistened as they fell and mixed with the crimson droplets of blood that littered the floor that surrounded him.

_I never conquered, rarely came_

_16 just held such better days_

_Days when I still felt alive_

_We couldn't wait to get outside_

_The world was wide, too late to try_

_The tour was over we'd survived_

_I couldn't wait till I got home_

_To pass the time in my room alone_

He was all alone now. Band practise was over for the day. Every happy thought that was in his mind had vacated the premises. His demons had come out to play. _Worthless. Ugly. Fat. _The words swam through his head and repeated themselves over and over again like some sort of satanic chant. _Worthless. Ugly. Fat. _He had been alone in his room for hours now and his family had retired to their rooms, sleeping peacefully like they always do. Confident that they would not be disturbed from their slumber, the boy retreated to dirty bathroom that stood across the hall from his small room. His fingers ached for the blade and his wrists itched for a cut.

_I never thought I'd die alone_

_Another six months I'll be unknown_

_Give all my things to all my friends_

_You'll never step foot in my room again_

_You'll close it off, board it up_

_Remember the time that I spilled the cup_

_Of apple juice in the hall_

_Please tell mom this is not her fault_

His parents never knew about the bullying. Or the cutting. Or that sometimes he didn't think of just killing himself but everyone else too. His thoughts would constantly drift off to the rifle that lay locked up in his fathers shed. Oh how pleasant the feeling would be to see their faces as he stood above them! Their life left in his possession, begging to be spared! The fear in their eyes as they would realise that he would not spare them! BANG! The ever pleasant sound of death ringing through his ears as he dreamt of his sick fantasy. It scared him, but he knew he would never act upon it.

_I never conquered, rarely came_

_16 just held such better days_

_Days when I still felt alive_

_We couldn't wait to get outside_

_The world was wide, too late to try_

_The tour was over we'd survived_

_I couldn't wait till I got home_

_To pass the time in my room alone_

Today was the day. The day that he would finally get the peace that he had always dreamt of. He was once again sat in the dirty, shit-stained bathroom staring longingly at the silver blade. He held the blade to his wrist and whispered to himself as he made the first incision vertically along his arm. _Mama, Papa forgive me. _His vision became fuzzy and his chest constricted. Death was bittersweet, but he loved it. He smiled the happiest smile he had in years and lay down on the crusty tiles, letting death consume him. And that was how his little brother found him in the early hours of the morning.

_I never conquered, rarely came_

_Tomorrow holds such better days_

_Days when I can still feel alive_

_When I can't wait to get outside_

_The world is wide, the time goes by_

_The tour is over, I've survived_

_I can't wait till I get home_

_To pass the time in my room alone_

He wasn't alone. He sat surrounded by friends as he sung them his song. The reason he came to Brewster High, the reason his parents had dropped everything and moved states. They had cried as they listened to his story. Zander didn't. He didn't cry, not anymore. He supposed that he had cried a lot on that day and now he had ran out of tears because of it. No, Zander refused to cry. He refused to be sad and scared like his older brother Adam. His brother had been quiet and silently diminishing in front of his family, but no one had noticed. No one had heard him sing his last song. Zander had been the one to find him in the morning but by then it was too late. Adam had died in a pool of his own blood grinning maniacally. It was because of what his brother went through that Zander made a promise to himself that he would never let anyone be hurt by the cruel words of society and instead would take it upon himself to make them smile and laugh just as his brother made him when they were younger.


End file.
